Waiting for the words
Yet they do not want to come
Waiting for the inspiration
But for some reason
It is blocked
I sit here with an open mind and an open heart
I close my eyes
I rest my fingers on the keys
And take a deep breath
Waiting for the words to flow through me
There is silence as I try to go deeper
I try to find peace
And out of nowhere I hear the sound of drums
Boom boom, boom boom…
My heart beat
My life force
It is as if there are ceremonial drums off in the distance
Is that the rhythm of my soul?
I pause, I listen, and I breathe
A gong can be heard in the background
Low and deep like the sound used for meditation
One more breathe in
And I hear what sounds like water
Water flowing through rocks
Like the thoughts that forever flow through my mind
The sounds take over my soul
The tingling in my brain is non-stop
It’s trying to get my attention
Boom boom…boom boom
It’s trying to help me make sense of things
Boom boom…boom boom
How can I learn from them?
Why where they given to me?
What use can they be?
My thoughts rock gently back and forth
Almost as if they are moving with the sounds of the beating drums
My heart skips a beat
It causes me to pause, again
And my breath slows
The energy that has been with me the past few weeks is immense
So much so that I do not know what to do with it
How to I use it, instead of it using me
How do I grow from it?
Will I be able to take the compost of my past and use it to nurture my soul?
How do I utilize the new opportunities that have been placed in my path?
What can I learn from them?
What can they learn from me?
Why are they here?
Why I am there?
Again I hear the gong and then the vibration of Ohm…
Do I need to just release and go back to the earth?
Can I be one with the universe
So that I can grow
Like a seedling stretching forth from a pile of compost
Seeking the sunlight in the early morning
What does one do when they are in a place of so many questions?
How does one cope and move forward?
How do I be what the world needs when all they want is sunshine and rainbows?
They do not want to read about the pain
They want to read about the triumphs
They do not want to read about the struggles that it took to get here
As they have enough pain and they do not want to share in mine
I do not blame them
But if I do not share what I have gone through how will they know I’m sincere
Do they really need to know?
Or do they get what they need no matter what the circumstances?
The bells chime The drums beat
The water flows
Like the questions in my mind
…Forever flowing ♥♥♥
© Jen Helvie – 2015